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It finally hit us this morning.
Sep. 15th, 2024 03:19 pm🦨 First of all: Hi everyone, it's Beryl here. System emotes seem to function on our end (At least through use of the preview function), so if you see a skunk at the start of this paragraph, it worked! If not, whoops. Also, in case anyone is wondering what this entire thing is about and don't know us through Cohost, we're a plural system behind this page. It basically means we're a bunch of different people (Or, in our case, creatures; Long story) sharing a single body. We wrote that previous blog entry collectively, but this one is one I wanted to write individually. If you want more information about this whole plural thing, morethanone.info/#home is a great overview of what it is.
(And before you mention that icons can be applied on a per post basis on here, perfect for situations like this... Yeah, I know! It's actually one of the features we're the most interested to play with eventually! It just so happens that I don't have any good art of myself, and the skunk photo I use for my Pluralkit proxy is on a different computer at the moment. So.... Please imagine that the plushie shark on the side there is a skunk instead!)
But, to get back to the title of this post... The fact that Cohost, our primary online spot and in many ways our online home for just under two years now, has literally 15 days left of life only fully hit us now this morning. Or right at the end of last night, we're not sure. But the last several days with its enthused flurry of activity as we first made our plans on where we desired to move out to, and then went through to share our love with as many of the fellow creatures on that site as we could manage... That burst of energy quieted down today, and in its place was a longing for more time.
The last month has been... Rough. First we hit a moment where- You all know how there are those moments in your life where you look back even five minutes later, and you can immediately tell that your decisions have just changed the course of your life, in some way? It was perhaps a very mundane example of those moments in retrospect, but those first days felt like we'd just made a mistake that led us down a possibly worse branch in the tree of possible futures. Then a tragedy we won't get into right now struck, and left us in a fugue with 2 1/2 - 3 weeks of the worst depression we've had in years. We had barely started to rebuild our mental stability when the Cohost news came.
And now? Without both the shock and pain of the announcement fresh, or the burst of energy to grab the future by the throat and reclaim some of the home that we are losing? It's emptiness, it's longing for waking up and seeing everyone being silly creatures on main again, it's... Fuck. It's the unfortunate situation where two of the places we felt some sort of stability (Online and IRL respectively) are either disappearing or are way worse at providing what we need than first presented, and we just feel lost right now. We just feel so lost.
We're gonna figure out stuff these next weeks. The hardest part is that even if we'd love to use this chance to spend all our energy and push ourselves towards becoming a more social and talkative creature, we have to try and spend some energy to do things away from our social network too. Right now, we're just small creatures that are way too lost and tired in this world. We hope we'll find some sort of home out there, but right now.... We need to keep walking, we want to rest a little. Perhaps we have to do both.
We have no bloody idea anymore.
(And before you mention that icons can be applied on a per post basis on here, perfect for situations like this... Yeah, I know! It's actually one of the features we're the most interested to play with eventually! It just so happens that I don't have any good art of myself, and the skunk photo I use for my Pluralkit proxy is on a different computer at the moment. So.... Please imagine that the plushie shark on the side there is a skunk instead!)
But, to get back to the title of this post... The fact that Cohost, our primary online spot and in many ways our online home for just under two years now, has literally 15 days left of life only fully hit us now this morning. Or right at the end of last night, we're not sure. But the last several days with its enthused flurry of activity as we first made our plans on where we desired to move out to, and then went through to share our love with as many of the fellow creatures on that site as we could manage... That burst of energy quieted down today, and in its place was a longing for more time.
The last month has been... Rough. First we hit a moment where- You all know how there are those moments in your life where you look back even five minutes later, and you can immediately tell that your decisions have just changed the course of your life, in some way? It was perhaps a very mundane example of those moments in retrospect, but those first days felt like we'd just made a mistake that led us down a possibly worse branch in the tree of possible futures. Then a tragedy we won't get into right now struck, and left us in a fugue with 2 1/2 - 3 weeks of the worst depression we've had in years. We had barely started to rebuild our mental stability when the Cohost news came.
And now? Without both the shock and pain of the announcement fresh, or the burst of energy to grab the future by the throat and reclaim some of the home that we are losing? It's emptiness, it's longing for waking up and seeing everyone being silly creatures on main again, it's... Fuck. It's the unfortunate situation where two of the places we felt some sort of stability (Online and IRL respectively) are either disappearing or are way worse at providing what we need than first presented, and we just feel lost right now. We just feel so lost.
We're gonna figure out stuff these next weeks. The hardest part is that even if we'd love to use this chance to spend all our energy and push ourselves towards becoming a more social and talkative creature, we have to try and spend some energy to do things away from our social network too. Right now, we're just small creatures that are way too lost and tired in this world. We hope we'll find some sort of home out there, but right now.... We need to keep walking, we want to rest a little. Perhaps we have to do both.
We have no bloody idea anymore.
