wait on 2 library books since 5th of this month . still nothing . only potential hope is that most recent delivery boxes behind counter still not quite empty , as peek yesterday during second poke-and-bother session , so could uncover today . really hope so - will go in today anyway for event , so that would be convenient . 

might be collectively fictionhearted with shezow , and perhaps shezap as well . actually pretty obsessively watch that show back when first come out , over and over , and well . haha , bigender . 

dive back in recently to create shrine for website ( shameless plug ) and while not complete , have so much fun with watch again to research - and also feel like rekindle that connection .

shezow and shezap is not really how identify , but still important connection and expression , as well as funny nostalgia factor . 

neocities seem to allow pdf uploads . full archive of journal games would not be bad idea ... just in case something was to happen . might as well get on top of that and hope never necessary , rather than have to scramble when suddenly necessary . 

look through one of probably-abandoned journal game drafts , and find phrase ... " roll d6 on tarot card " ... sorry , what ? 

roll d6 on tarot card ...

sometimes wish have more trust to say people can refer with she pronouns as well , but sort of problem of assumptions . like that someone would come across pronouns without context , and assume get to pick and choose which one feel " right " , and not that pronouns vary by kossai choice . 

so never really do that . kind of derive euphoria from characters instead . 

just think about how kossai would handle fae romance novel ...

would make as gay as possible . while human might be confuse and initially put off by this , of course , faerie would have no thoughts on this as strange . fae like what fae like , and fae do what fae do , regardless of human perceptions of right and wrong , normal and abnormal . and no 6 page monologues to come out . 

never really fan of whole nobility thing . if did incorporate nobility , would be more for show , not legitimate social structure . fae just play pretend with these things sometimes - anyone can be prince or princess , duke or duchess , whatever . likewise , would write court dynamics as more personal reflection . 

would incorporate personal biological cycles . acotar's " calanmai " thoroughly disappoint with how fucking straight this shit was , can do idea of faerie heat so much better from experience . not that heat cycle is inherent to faeries , and certainly not within folklore , but faerie sexuality can be very intense and hard to contain . still able to feel intensely at any time , but if most intense feelings bloom on predictable cycle , then become much easier to deal with than when entirely random . 

not really keen on idea of one big evil faerie . would want conflicts to be more grounded and interpersonal as faerie struggle to understand how to woo human , and human struggle with navigate faerie realm . in other words , would basically play faerie thorns faerie roses :P 

that . was . that was something . keep most of rambles to access list currently , as not yet finish and did not want to make public judgments too early . but no longer is this shackle !

some of faerie topics which handle , actually think alright . bogge , suriel , and attor do not represent particular faeries of old lore , but feel like fit in decently . faerie music is written as suitably magical , able to make feyre feel wonderful , free , and ready to dance . faerie food ruin feyre's sense of taste for human food . even final quarter's trials , tasks , and riddles kind of impress .

unfortunately , some of these really nice moments come at cost of feyre's character image - this woman is meant to be capable hunter who feed whole family and know dangers of faerie menace , yet blatantly rush into dangerous faerie-based situations far more than actually listen to warnings . 

some parts amuse for entirely wrong reasons - that is to say , laugh at plenty of bad character choices , ridiculous interactions , and contradictions to faerie sensibilities . other parts annoy , because feel like author poorly set up - particularly in ways that take away agency and capability from feyre - or just get horny at worst moments like grief and moral quandary . pick literally any other time to get horny , pretty please ?

very glad that borrow this from library , rather than purchase . manage to satiate curiosity for this series , and safe to say will not continue .